For those who’ve ever been in remedy or had a heart-to-heart with somebody who’s huge on emotional progress, you may need heard the phrase “sit together with your feelings.” At first, it would sound like a obscure, even irritating, instruction. Sit with them? What does that even imply? Ought to I simply stare into area till the emotions go? How lengthy does this sitting take, precisely?
Whereas it’s tempting to keep away from our feelings or push them apart, studying to take a seat with them is a robust step in understanding your self higher, therapeutic, and fostering emotional resilience. Let’s break down what it actually means, why it’s necessary, and how one can apply it.
What Does “Sit With Your Feelings” Imply?
“Sitting together with your feelings” is about acknowledging and accepting your emotions as a substitute of avoiding, suppressing, or judging them. It’s the apply of making area to really feel what you’re feeling with out speeding to repair it or make it go away.
Right here’s what it doesn’t imply:
• It’s not about wallowing or spiraling into a sense till it overtakes you.
• It’s not about discovering an answer to the issue immediately.
• It’s not about judging your self for having the sensation within the first place.
As a substitute, it’s about observing your feelings with curiosity and compassion. Think about you’re a bunch, and your feelings are sudden company. You don’t must cater to them endlessly, however you do must acknowledge that they’ve proven up.
Why Is It Essential to Sit With Your Feelings?
Feelings are a part of the human expertise, and each carries details about what you’re going by means of and what you want. Once you keep away from them, they don’t really disappear—they only discover one other strategy to present up. Suppressed feelings can flip into bodily signs (like complications or fatigue), heightened nervousness, or behaviors like snapping at somebody or binge-watching exhibits for days.
Sitting together with your feelings helps you:
• Perceive your self higher: It offers you clues about your triggers, wants, and patterns.
• Cut back emotional depth: Emotions usually lose a few of their energy once they’re acknowledged.
• Construct resilience: Going through feelings as a substitute of avoiding them helps you’re feeling extra able to dealing with life’s ups and downs.
Find out how to Sit With Your Feelings
For those who’re new to this apply, it will probably really feel uncomfortable at first. Right here’s the way to begin:
1. Create a Protected Area
Discover a quiet spot the place you received’t be interrupted. This may very well be a comfy chair, your mattress, and even your automotive. Having a peaceful, impartial surroundings could make it simpler to focus.
2. Identify What You’re Feeling
Begin by figuring out the emotion. Are you unhappy, indignant, pissed off, anxious, or perhaps a mixture of a number of emotions? Give your feelings names—this alone could be grounding.
Instance: “I really feel damage due to what my good friend stated,” or “I’m anxious about tomorrow’s assembly.”
3. Examine In With Your Physique
Feelings usually present up bodily. Perhaps your chest feels tight, your abdomen is in knots, or your shoulders are tense. Discover these sensations with out making an attempt to alter them.
4. Observe With out Judgment
Deal with your emotions like passing clouds. They’re not good or dangerous—they only are. Keep away from saying issues like “I shouldn’t really feel this fashion” or “That is foolish.” As a substitute, attempt, “That is what I’m feeling proper now, and that’s okay.”
5. Ask What the Emotion Needs You to Know
Feelings usually carry messages. Ask your self:
• What triggered this sense?
• What want is that this emotion pointing to? (e.g., Do I want relaxation, consolation, or boundaries?)
6. Let the Feeling Be
You don’t have to “repair” the sensation immediately. Merely enable it to exist. This may imply sitting quietly, journaling, or taking just a few deep breaths. Keep in mind, feelings are non permanent—they rise, peak, and finally fade.
What If It Feels Overwhelming?
Typically, sitting with feelings can really feel intense, particularly in the event that they’ve been buried for some time. If this occurs:
• Take a break: It’s okay to step away and are available again later.
• Floor your self: Focus in your senses—what are you able to see, hear, contact, odor, and style? This might help anchor you within the current.
• Search help: Speak to your therapist or somebody you belief. They might help you course of what you’re feeling in a protected, supportive method.
Working towards Self-Compassion
One of the crucial necessary elements of sitting together with your feelings is being variety to your self. It’s not straightforward work, and there’s no proper or mistaken strategy to do it. Each time you enable your self to really feel, you’re making progress.
Takeaways for the Journey
Sitting together with your feelings is about permitting your self to really feel with out judgment. It’s a apply that takes time and endurance, however it will probably deepen your self-awareness and emotional resilience.
For those who’re navigating troublesome feelings or need extra steerage, Remedy for Black Ladies has a listing of licensed therapists able to help you. Be part of the dialog in our Sister Circle group at group.therapyforblackgirls.com, the place we share experiences and ideas for emotional well-being.
Keep in mind: feelings are guests, not everlasting residents. By sitting with them, you enable your self to develop, heal, and transfer ahead with intention.
